Tuesday 24 November 2015

Going out of print is not the same thing as selling out

'Withdrawing in Disgust...' - volume 1 of my poetry will soon be going out of print for a while...maybe a whole year.

I have three copies left in stock which can be bought via http://lessthanfivehundred.bigcartel.com or from HiFest on December the 5th. There may also be random copies left at Whatever Comics, Canterbury, Creek Creative in Faversham and Housmans in London.

Beyond these copies it is my intention to let the book go out of print for a while. Firstly, I'm running out of table space at events and space in my suitcase to actually take them in the first place. Secondly, the plan is to eventually redesign Volume one and bring it in line with the other two books. When Lorna and Matt Morris and I conceived the first book, the visuals weren't integral to it and the photos we included were an afterthought as much as anything. As soon as I got involved with the distressed visuals in 'Peace..' I knew I would eventually have to go back and redo the first book.

And that's the plan, but with Foxhole Magazine and the final year of my BA, it will probably have to wait until the end of next year.

If anyone wants to do a bulk order of vol 1 (that's 10 or more copies ordered in one go), please drop me a line at callard_bowser@hotmail.com and I'll try and sort something out with a small special print run just for you.

If not, congratulations to anyone who owns a copy of vol 1 - you now have a limited edition book of (wait for it) less than 500 copies, and barring bulk orders or another opportunity to sell at a Banksy installation, there will be no more of that version.

Thanks for reading.

Sunday 25 May 2014

Thanks to anyone who bought a <500 book/zine at today and a huge thank you to the volunteers who manned the communal table!

Please join me in my new brainless haiku project by sending me a random word via @haikutrumpet on the old twitter.
Let me brighten your day (or make it worse)with 17 syllables...

Tuesday 21 January 2014

Kids today, eh? tsk, tut, etc….


Today I told some of my HND classmates that I turn my 'phone off at night and sometimes I don't even look at it all day. "WHAT?!?" They responded (and I am not embellishing at all), as if I had just admitted that my favourite hobby was rummaging in kids' pants…





Thursday 19 December 2013

THE CRAP WEDDING

There really is nothing quite so life affirming
As being sat at a table
With eight complete strangers
At a wedding reception
With barely enough alcohol to drown a flea.

That is, if your life is a pained, awkward, silent,
Elongated existential crisis with unfamiliar faces
And nowhere to escape to.

By way of an ice breaker,
The man next to me asks if I like logic puzzles.
I laugh and say no,
To which he replies,
“You have to ask a meta question,”
Which has to be the worst and weirdest opening ever.
I should have asked him
If he was enjoying his pate

At the quantum level.

WHEN STATIONERY IS NOT STATIONARY

This one is for Tom (and Becky, if that was her name...)


WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
I have one day off
And come back to find
That someone has tidied my desk?!?!
“I didn’t want to throw any of it away,”
Admitted the culprit, the one-day desk squatter
“So I put it all in piles.”
Yeah, except for the folder,
Which is now on the wrong side of the desk,
The stapler being in the drawer,
With the pens and the post it notes
Where none of these things EVER LIVE,
And the ruler,
Which has magically migrated to your own desk.

Look at it, this is chaos;
You people are the worst kind of terrorist
Why don’t you come ‘round my house while I’m out next week
And glue all my furniture

To the ceiling?